We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
