4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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