this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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