so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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