I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize