Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
