Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
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I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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