dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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