We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
