you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How does it feel to date your dad?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
