There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
