I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
