it hurts more in the daytime
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
