Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
