She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
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Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
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Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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