Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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