i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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