I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
