Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
