On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
