so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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