Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize