this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Pooping to opera.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
