Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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