That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
