He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
