Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
