have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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