im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize