and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
