You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I believe in your delicious
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize