I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
