I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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