I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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