I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize