last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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