And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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