just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
