Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
