pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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