goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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