I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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