I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
