I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize