I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
