I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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