Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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