I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
