i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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