You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My orgasm happened in two different decades
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
