nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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