I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
