I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
