Where is the hickey?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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