Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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