I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
