You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
