I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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