There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize