You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize