I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize