nut hugger
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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